It is about Swine

First let me say that law school finals suck. Now lets get back into it. Last weekend many great things happened, the Skins did not trade all of their picks to get Sanchez. If they had, the front page of ESPN would have looked like this http://www.espnnewstoday.com/. Notice how unhappy he looks. Its like he just hooked up with the hottest girl in school and then found out he has herpes. Anyway hope the herpeless Sanchez does well in New York. Finally, the greatest thing about last weekend was the Sox sweep of the Evil Empire.

This got me thinking about my favorite memories as a Red Sox fan. Tek beating up Arod, which is even more impressive knowing he was on steroids. Then there was Bill Mueller hitting a home run of Rivera to win that same game. And who can forget Pedro slamming Zimmer's head into the ground. Now don't get me wrong, I love the AARP, but if you are going to start something you damn well better finish it. And by finishing it I do not mean eating the grass in the Fenway infield.

But my favorite moment by far was watching Game 7 of the 2004 ALCS and seeing Yankee fans crying. I remember watching the game with my buddy Becker and laughing at 8 year-old Yankee fans crying. Now you may be thinking that I am depraved and have no soul, but if you weren't a Red Sox fan prior to 2004 you just don’t understand. It would be like watching baby Hitler cry. You feel bad at first, but then you see that damn mustache and realize what a monster he was and you are happy that little fucker is bawling his eyes out. Make Yankee-Hitler connection, check.

Anyway, for those that missed it, on Friday Rivera blew the game on a 2 run homer by Bay in the bottom of the 9th (who I have been trying to get on my Fantasy team but can't cause my team sucks and I am an awful fantasy player). This opened the door to Youk's walk off shot a couple innings later. Then there was the 16-11 game on Saturday, awesome. And finally, the Sunday night game where are young gun pitchers just shit on the Yanks $908371423 lineup. Yes, I know Arod wasn't playing but shoot him up and get him back in there already. After a slow start the Sox are flying high and I couldn't be happier.

Now I owe an apology to the Caps. They came back in game 7 and beat the Rangers on an absurd wrister by Federov. Let me be the first to congratulate you on beating a team who barely made the playoffs, has Sean (I like the penalty box) Avery, and who has a head coach that embarrassed the organization by give throwing beer at caps fans in the first row and trying to hit them with a stick a la Marty McSorley circa 2000 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnP18StCoHA. On a side note, I have met Marty McSorley and he is a really nice guy. So congrats Caps, you should be proud. Now this doesn't mean that I am not rooting whole-heartedly for them to beat the Pens, mainly because I think Crosby whines too much. Also, the Kings are usually mathematically eliminated by January so I have to root for someone. So go Caps.

Finally, I have decided to end all entries with fake twitters for athletes. So here it goes for the past week in sports.

Andy Petite-"I'm scared, someone just robbed my home"

Brad Miller-"Who…dere…..who….dey…..?"

Derrick Rose-"Buying gummy bears in Boston."
Van Gundy "Glad that Dwight Howard didn't elbow me after I told him he sucked. Fuck my team"

Tim Duncan-"Golfing"

Federov-"Hookers, Russia House and Vodka. Suck on that Lundqvuist."

Tortorella-"Going to Sean Avery's to punch him in the face"

Wang-"Looking through the Classifieds"

Texas High School Athlete-"Fever, Runny Nose, Vomiting and Diarrhea, probably just a stomach flu"